


your spectres still haunt me (lights on but no one's home)

by waspfactor



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Asano Gakuhou's Bad Parenting, Canonical Character Death, Canonical Child Abuse, Character Study, Child Murder, Gen, HOOOOOO BOY, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kinda, Murder, References to A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens, Suicide Attempt, Suicide Notes, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:02:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27683957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waspfactor/pseuds/waspfactor
Summary: this is the world’s worst joke, the sickest twist the universe has played him.standing in front of him, unnaturally pale, still youthful, basketball in hand- ikeda.(or ikeda is mad about the way things have turned out)
Relationships: Asano Gakuhou & Asano Gakushuu, Asano Gakushuu & Ikeda Rikuto
Comments: 14
Kudos: 126





	your spectres still haunt me (lights on but no one's home)

**Author's Note:**

> wasp vs naming fics normal names
> 
> GAKUHOU UR UP BUDDY!!!!GET IN THE CAGE U SILLY LITTLE BUG MAN!!!! i want to batter gakuhou so badly but since i can't i will expose him to manmade horrors beyond his comprehension.
> 
> this is lucky fic number 13!!!! woah!!! literally dove head first back into assclass >:)))
> 
> pls heed the tags, this is a Sad one

Gakuhou Asano knows that he’s not the world’s best educator or father- really, he does. And sure, whatever judgement or punishment he receives for that later down the life, he’ll take the full brunt of it.

He doesn’t deserve _this._

This is the world’s worst joke, the sickest twist the universe has played him.

Standing in front of him, unnaturally pale, still youthful, basketball in hand- _Ikeda._ He looks the exact same as Gakuhou remembers him, looks the same as in the picture they used for his funeral. He’s _here_ and _alive_ and _breathing_ and _transparent_ and- wait, what?

He’s not in his office. Instead, he’s in a vast white room that seems to have no borders. His heart skips a beat.

“Am I dead?” He tries to move his body- nothing.

Ikeda, _holy shit it’s him,_ shakes his head (how come he gets to move?) “No. Not quite.”

“Where… are we then? And- you, you’re _here?_ Is this a dream? I must be dreaming.”

“We’re…. kinda in a purgatory state right now. I’m still dead. You’re alive,” He twirls the basketball on his finger. Ikeda is still dead, Gakuhou laments. “Your physical body is back there still.”

“What are we doing here? Is this your doing?”

Ikeda nods. “I have a bone to pick with you.”

“…What?”

“I’ve been watching over you ever since…” He trails off. “Sensei, please excuse my language but _what the actual fuck have you done?!_ ” He seethes, suddenly enraged. It doesn’t match the softness of his face.

Before Gakuhou can speak, he’s interrupted. “I’ve seen the ‘school’ you built- it’s, it’s more like a _factory._ The way you treat those students- in the old cram school building, I-, I-,” Ikeda splutters, waving his arms around frantically. “And how you treat _Gakushuu._ Your, your own son!”

Gakuhou’s left stunned. Never in a million years did he anticipate this. Ikeda, _here_ and _kind of alive,_ lecturing him ( _he’s been watching him, Ikeda’s been looking out for him, Ikeda’s seen everything_ ).

Ikeda takes a deep sigh, calming himself down. “I didn’t do this to rant at you, sensei. I know that won’t get through to you,” Some of the whiteness of the surrounding area slowly disperses. “So, I’m going to show you some… other scenarios.”

“Other scenarios?”

“Timelines. Universe. What could be and what has been,” The white fog is almost gone; Gakuhou can partially make out his home. “In an attempt to make you reconsider your life choices.”

They’re in his house. Gakuhou, a _physical_ Gakuhou sits alone at the kitchen table, accompanied by a pile of letters. He looks older but not by much. Still well-dressed and well kept. The house is quiet, as it usually is. This doesn’t seem too bad.

“I don’t get it.” He tells Ikeda, walking round to see the other him, revelling in the fact he can move again (he can even hold things!). It’s weird; he waves a hand in front of the not-Gakuhou’s face. Nothing. If he were going on this _A Christmas Carol_ of futures, presents and pasts, he’d at least like one at little clearer cut.

Ikeda instructs him to look more closely at the letters and so he does. They’re all unopened, marked ‘return to sender’. Gakuhou notices at who they’re addressed to; _Gakushuu._ Who lives in the States. 

He turns to face Ikeda, who clarifies. “In this timeline, after junior high, Gakushuu never, _ever_ speaks to you again. Not even at home,” Ikeda manifests a newspaper and hands it to Gakuhou. It’s dated a few months in the future, after the end of this current academic year. The headline reads- _Twisted Dad Furiously Abused Son- The Truth About Gakuhou Asano._ It’s an exposé, from a lengthy interview from Gakushuu. “After graduating high school, he changed his name, blocked your phone number and moved to the United States. This Gakuhou,” He waves vaguely at the rather _sad_ looking Gakuhou. “Has not seen or spoken to his son in 5 years.”

That’s a- fuck. He adjusts his tie knot and swallows hard. Ikeda, eyes like a hawk, picks up on his discomfort. “The rest of those letters are overdue bills. You’re in the red most months in this timeline.”

Financial insecurity is not an unfamiliar foe but Gakuhou’s been rolling it in for decades now, been comfortably in the black for longer than Gakushuu’s been alive. The idea of having no money _now_ is….

“This is a mild one as well.” Ikeda comments. His face is neutral; Gakuhou can’t tell if he’s enjoying this. Gakuhou wouldn’t blame him; he has a right to be vindictive. When he had said to Ikeda, ‘ _feel free to assassinate me’,_ he didn’t expect for Ikeda to _stab_ him and then twist the knife around.

A sense of dread looms over Gakuhou. It suddenly gets very cold. “This is enough. I get it-“

Ikeda slams his hand down on the table. Not-Gakuhou doesn’t look up; clearly can’t hear. “ _No!_ You _don’t_ get it. Sensei, I’m sorry it’s come to this but I’m showing you what I’ve compiled. I’m _showing_ you the consequences of your actions.”

The house and the letters and the Not-Gakuhou fade away, replaced by another house. While the other scenario was calm, peaceful, here, there has been a sign of a conflict. Chairs over-turned, scuffs mark on the hardwood flooring, the sound of ragged breathing rings through the air.

Gakushuu is pressed up against the wall, eyes blown wide with adrenaline ( _fear?)._ His hair is messy and he’s panting as if he just completed a marathon seven times over. Gakuhou deduces that breathlessness is not from exercise; Gakushuu’s too in shape for that. There’s blood on Gakushuu’s hand. Gakuhou fears the worst.

At least Gakushuu doesn’t look injured, not a single hair on his head harmed.

A moment passes. Ikeda raises an eyebrow.

The penny drops.

Holy. Shit.

Gakuhou’s body moves on its own accord, mechanically guiding him into the kitchen. He slowly looks down at the floor and finds what he had feared.

It’s him, dead. Blood everywhere. Cold, lifeless eyes (what the fuck that’s him _dead_ ). A knife lodged in his torso. If Gakuhou was a weaker man, he would’ve likely thrown up. He, instead, grabs onto the kitchen counter to steady himself. “Asano would…?”

“Yes. In many scenarios. Never really regrets it either. In this one, he gets away with it,” Gakuhou snaps his head so hard he feels whiplash coming, to look at Ikeda, who only shrugs. “The court ruled that he was akin to one killing their abuser.”

_Abuser._ It rings in his head, an endless taunt from which he can’t escape. He keeps his eyes fixated on his body, watching the colour slowly drain from his face. Ikeda stands next to him, silent. From the living room, he hears Gakushuu’s shaky voice. “R-Ren. I-I just did something _bad¸ really bad…_ ”

He listens in on Gakushuu’s call, as he admits to Ren, what he’s done. He cries, sobs not for the loss of his father but for what he did. Gakuhou feels his entire body go numb.

The next scenario is, arguably, _a lot worse._ They’re in Kunugigoaka now, 3-A. The Gakuhou here is very much alive, giving his supposed star pupils a lecture (read: brainwashing session).

Gakuhou watches as Gakushuu’s face shifts throughout the talk, slowly twisting in anger. He disagrees.

The Gakuhou at the front of the class eventually brings up E Class and that’s the final straw for him. He gets to his feet and-

He slaps Gakushuu, _in front of his classmates._ He goes flying, hitting the wall on the other side of the class. There’s a disgusting _snap_ sound that resonates in the empty classroom. Gakuhou knows that sound all too well and watches in abject horror as the him who just fucking hit Gakushuu in front of 25 other children, slowly turn his head, to see what he’s just done. The hand that struck Gakushuu is shaking wildly.

His classmates rush over to Gakushuu but it’s too late. Neck bent in an uncomfortable angle and a vacant look on his face. _No. Nonononononononono._

Gakuhou sinks to the ground, holds his head and welds closed his eyes as there’s a cacophony of screams, yells, sobs, angry shouts. The physical Gakuhou presses his back to the blackboard and slowly slides down to the floor.

Ikeda sits down next to him, makes him open his eyes. Behind him, he sees a few of the stockier built students distance the principal from Gakushuu ( _Gakushuu’s body)_ by restraining him.

He pleads. “ _Ikeda,”_ His voice a higher pitch than he intended it to be. “ _Please-_ I-, I’m _sorry._ Please. I- I can’t do this anymore. _“_

There’s a sombre look in Ikeda’s eyes. Despite his young appearance, his soul must be an adult by now, Gakuhou figures. He’s always been wise beyond his years. “One more, sensei. You can do one more,” Ikeda gets to his feet. “Besides, the next one’s the most important.”

“ _Please-_ “ But the voice dies in his throat as 3-A’s classroom ( _his son’s murder scene_ ) is replaced by the sight of his kitchen again. Here, there is no murder, no sign a of a struggle, no loneliness but a family meal. Gakushuu’s cooked a nut roast, eyes twinkling with life. The other Gakuhou has a book next to him, occasionally holding it up when the two converse in friendly academic jabs. Gakuhou squints his eyes, trying to think.

“This was…” It hits him. “Last week.”

Ikeda hums. “This is actually the closest universe to your own. Everything except _one_ choice is the same here.”

Gakuhou’s mind runs through what he did on this day. It’s a Wednesday. School was… as usual, he supposes. He attended the student council meeting, replaced the flowers in his office, ordered new food for his pet centipedes. After dinner, he finished more paperwork while Gakushuu went to see friends.

The normalcy offers a false sense of security. Gakuhou’s throat tightens.

Gakushuu’s the deciding factor here, clearly shown as Ikeda’s narrative follows him as he leaves the house. As soon as he does, he sighs, posts his house keys through the letterbox, and pulls out his phone, frantically punching in a number.

Whoever he phones, they don’t pick up but Gakushuu leaves a voicemail anyway. “Akabane,” He starts, and this is… _unusual._ Gakuhou didn’t even know they had each other’s numbers. “I, uh. Just wanted to let you know that- you were always- Fuck,” He shakes his head. “Delete this voicemail, forget I called you.”

He hangs up and mutters a string of curses under his breath, walking faster. Gakuhou only now realises he’s travelling light, no jacket, just his phone.

The realisation slowly creeps up on him as he watches his son phone his friends, telling them he wishes them the best for their future. One picks up, says something along the lines on how Gakushuu’s speaking as if he won’t be there to see the future. Gakushuu only laughs, but it’s empty.

Gakushuu approaches _the_ bridge and Gakuhou feels his mind go into tunnel vision. His automatic response is to reach out and hold onto Gakushuu but there’s no force behind his actions nor does Gakushuu feel anything. Ikeda sits crossed legged on the other railing, watching as Gakuhou scrambles to hold onto Gakushuu.

“ _Asano! Asano, please,”_ He digs his heels into the ground as Gakushuu mounts the railing. “Gakushuu, Gakushuu, Gakushuu,” He chants, turns his head to Ikeda, sending a silent plea to _help, my son is going to commit suicide on the same bridge that you did and I can’t do this alone._ Ikeda remains sitting, shrugs his shoulders. “ _No.”_

Gakushuu sighs once more and steps off the bridge, slipping through Gakuhou’s fingers like sand in an hourglass.

His time is up.

The world goes black.

When he opens his eyes again, he’s in his home office, watching another version of himself read a letter. The other Gakuhou looks horrified. Gakuhou walks over to read over the other Gakuhou’s shoulder and he immediately regrets doing so.

_Dear ~~Principal~~ Father,_

_This is not a letter I know you want to read but unfortunately, you must. Let’s cut to the chase; if you are reading this, then I have attempted to kill myself. The outcome depends on my luck so you’re currently reading this in a hospital or at home. I know what scenario I want to happen._

_Honestly, this won’t come as a shock to anyone. This has been a long time coming, father, if I can really even call you that. I won’t use such petty, underhanded tactics such as using my final message to the world to curse and blame you for everything wrong in my life (let’s face it- I think you already know that). I will allow one slight jab, for old times’ sake: congratulations on your suicide note collection._

_My only request is for you to donate any money or possessions in my name to the less fortunate. Might as well try to right some of my wrongs, right?_

_I have prepared similar letters in my folder in my desk. If you could distribute them, that would be very appreciated._

_I would say ‘please don’t let this eat you up’ but a) you kind of deserve to and b) I have a feeling this might be what snaps you out of this weird 10 year funk you’ve been in since Ikeda._

_Maybe one day, I’ll see you again. The real you._

_So long and farewell,_

_your son,_

_Gakushuu Asano._

When he looks up from the letter, vision blurred with tears, he’s back in the long white room (?) with Ikeda. He no longer has his basketball. He patiently waits for Gakuhou to speak, who’s jaw hangs agape.

For the very first time in his life, Gakuhou is left speechless, unable to gather any words.

For the very second time in his life, he breaks down. He hides his face in his hands, lets the hot, shameful tears pour down his face.

Ikeda, at some point, bends down (since when did he end up on the floor?) and gives him a hug. Gakuhou doesn’t realise that he’s _touching_ the _supposedly dead_ Ikeda, too hung up on giving _someone, something_ a hug.

Ikeda mutters under his breath, “Now you know.”

Fuck. Yes. Gakuhou knows now, has seen his own murder, his son’s murder, and suicide, has seen the likely scenario of Gakushuu never, _ever_ speaking to him after high school. Saw the suicide note, originally addressed to the principal. That’s his timeline, fuck that’s _his life_. Something in his timeline stopped Gakushuu from jumping, which means the letter that’s addressed to him as an _educator_ first and _father_ second is probably still in Gakushuu’s bedroom. Gakushuu was going to kill himself.

He could lose Gakushuu.

He pulls away from the hug and rubs at eyes hard. These tears, spilled here with a boy who died years ago, won’t fix the relationship with his (thankfully) still alive son.

“I’m sorry I had to show you that. But it was the only way.”

Gakuhou has so many things he wants to say to Ikeda, what he _needs_ to say to him. What comes out instead is: “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you.”

Ikeda sighs, shoulders sinking. “I’m sorry too.” It’s barely a whisper but it’s deafening to Gakuhou.

The boy explains that, unfortunately, their time is up, Gakuhou must leave. He adds that this _really is_ the last time Gakuhou will see him. He doesn’t cry but he does feel his whole body go cold. There is still so much left to say. _Ikeda._

“You still have time to fix things, sensei,” He reminds him. “…I hope this has been an eyeopener for you.”

This is less of an eye opener and more of a ‘hey I’m going to surgically remove your eyelids so you can’t blink’. Gakuhou makes a promise to Ikeda then and there that he _will_ change.

“I’ll be watching, sensei,” He says with a smile. “…It was good seeing you again.” And with that Ikeda waves him a small goodbye and then snaps his fingers.

Gakuhou jolts and suddenly he’s in his office, at home. His computer is as he left it, the time displayed is only one minute ahead of what he remembered it to be. He gets to his feet immediately. _Gakushuu._

Normally, he knocks on Gakushuu’s door, respects that children need and deserve privacy but this an Exception. He’s locked Gakushuu out for long enough, won’t let a physical lock stop him now. He barges in and Gakushuu, diligently typing away on his laptop near enough jumps out of his skin.

“Principal-“ He begins but is cut off by Gakuhou swopping him into the tightest hug he’s ever given. He strokes his son’s hair, chanting a soft string of ‘I’m sorry’ under his breath.

Gakushuu is naturally confused, freezes up. He slowly but surely returns the hug. “…What’s gotten into you? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Gakuhou laughs at the irony of it all and then he sobs. Third time.

**Author's Note:**

> ikeda: bro wtf why have u traumatised and abused ur son (whos essentially my brother) for like 10 years  
> gakuhou: read at 12:56 pm
> 
> defo gakushuu later that night: r/kunugigoaka u/gakushoe- GUYS THE PRINCIPALS BEEN REPLACED  
> top comments: u/karmasabitch- thank god i had enough of that guy  
> u/snakeyshiota- By who? You?  
> u/sakakakakakaibara- poggers   
> u/twodimensionalbest- hatsune miku feet pics  
> u/twodimensionalbest- this isn't google
> 
> ikeda i think would drop kick the shit out of gakuhou and u know what? good for him.
> 
> one day i will stop putting the asano's through the emotional wringer but today is not that day and neither is tomorrow
> 
> if u enjoyed lmk!!!


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